Obituaries, The Woman’s Movement, & Humor

In many cultures, men and women were treated differently at death.

The Cochieans buried their women,
but suspended their men from trees.

The Ghonds buried their women
but cremated their men.

The Bongas buried their men with their faces to the North
their women with their faces to the South.

Obituaries, The Woman’s Movement, & Humor

While researching women’s obituaries recently I came across a very interesting article written for Harper’s Magazine in 1921.

Florence Guy Woolston, a young feminist journalist wrote about the National Women's Obituary Association. It seems that after securing the vote, the feminists of the country had a new cause. “Read the obituary notices, especially in the New York Times,” said a member of the Association, “and you will find that the passing of most women serves only as an occasion for advertising the men in the family."

The article offered several obituaries as examples. Here is one:

MARTHA SHELDON BRYSON

Mrs. Martha Sheldon Bryson, 80 years of age, died yesterday at the home of her son on University Heights. Her son, Ernest H. Bryson, is a professor of English literature and widely known as a writer of essays and poetry, which have appeared in the leading English and American periodicals. In 1910 he received the medal of the Legion of Honor in recognition of his literary work. During the war he served with the Young Men's Christian Association in France. In 1919 he was given the degree LL.D. by Amherst College, where he was graduated in 1888, receiving the degree M.A. She is also survived by a daughter.

Woolston interviewed a member of the Association who explained that this method of obituary writing was a holdover from the days when women had no identity apart from the men of their families. It was time, the Association countered, that women should have a line or two in the newspapers, just about themselves.

The article ran a copy of the resolutions adopted by the Association. I reproduce them here:

Whereas, to the year 1920, women have for the most part been ignored in their own obituaries, and in actual space and measurement, as compared with men, have not been adequately represented in the death columns of the newspapers; and

Whereas, in the obituary notices of women, the activities of their male relatives have been mentioned instead of those of the deceased; and

Whereas, obituary notices of women have been used as an opportunity for advertising the men instead of the women of a family;

Be it resolved, that we, charter members of the National Women's Obituary Association, in convention assembled this 15th day of September, 1920, do hereby demand that in the future obituaries of women shall contain the full name of the deceased, a mention of the important achievements of her life, and that she herself shall be the central figure of her own obituary.

Furthermore be it resolved, that we deplore and disapprove the present practice of recounting the activities of all the male relatives of the deceased, and demand that if such statements of kinship be deemed wise and expedient, the names of all female relatives, together with their activities, be enumerated with equal emphasis.

Within a week, Woolston tells us, the National Women's Anti-Obituary Association was formed protesting that women did not need obituaries at all; that indirect mention as deceased is much better than the distressing publicity of direct mention; that obituaries for women would destroy the harmony of marriage by giving cause for competition, and, finally, that obituaries for women would break up the home, because women, no longer content with simple tasks and duties in the home, would immediately engage in outside activities in order to gain notoriety at death.

The first Anti-Obituary leaflet," What Have Women Done to Deserve Obituaries?" was answered by the Association refuting the charge that there were in the world any women less worthy of obituaries than men. The Association defended home-making women, above all others, saying they were entitled to individual death notices: that their achievements in bearing children, in housekeeping, and kindred lines are analogous to the business pursuits of men. Enumerating the cherry pies made by the deceased or quoting an original recipe or simply giving statistics as to the mileage of mended socks if they were laid in a straight line across the continent would be a sufficient obituary.

Now, as soon as the Association won the cause of obituaries for women, they would engage in a tombstone campaign. Members of the Association were agreed that there should be some protest against the word Relict, and a concerted demand for separate monuments, or at least individual inscriptions.

OK, by now you must realize you have been hoodwinked. I did. The article was satire written by a gifted young journalist meant to provoke change.

Humorous? Yes and no. There is a kernel of truth in all satire. Satire has often been referred to as "holding a mirror up to the truth." I'm sure we've all read obituaries for female ancestors that sounded frighteningly similar.

While we may believe these are issues realized by this generation of family historians and pertinent to our family research today; you can see from this touch with history that it was a matter of interest to women many years ago.

As family historians and genealogists don’t we wish these resolutions had been common practice throughout time?

Sources:

Rostad, Curtis D., "History of Funeral Customs," The Basics of Funeral Service, (2000) (Wyoming Funeral Directors Association, and FuneralNet, 2000), ; accessed May 2009.

Woolston, Florence Gu , Obituaries - For Women, Harper's Magazine, 1921, available from [Google Books], full edition, ; accessed January 2009.