Final Thoughts - 9/29/2011

“To Be, or Not To Be”

 By John Thomas Grant

The title is the opening line of the monologue from William Shakespeare's play Hamlet - act three, scene one; one of Mr. Shakespeare’s more familiar, and celebrated, contributions to world literature. Now, Hamlet, in this soliloquy, is debating with himself as to whether it would be best for him, under his rather depressing current situation, to live, or to die. If Mr. Hamlet does not mind, I would like to borrow his personal disquiet, but present it in a radically different, yet, sensitive light. Of course, there’s a brief story to tell, and it does take place in a cemetery.

It was time for a new cemetery to visit. Near a storage facility in Salem, MA, where I rent a modest space for the odds n’ ends of life, I happened upon a lovely little garden-variety cemetery. It’s a lovely little place complete with hill and dale, and well-maintained older and newer sections. Seems like a logical choice. Let’s go shooting…

So I’m setting up for a shot using my tripod for steadiness, when I hear a car pull up behind me.

That was quick. Every time I use that dang ‘lightening rod’, a swat team descends on me. Anyway, a quick glimpse tells me that this person is here specifically to meet me. A fan perhaps???

Nope, it must be critical as the Lady I see approaching me ran out of the office still attached to her coffee cup. She asks what I’m doing, so I explain to her the obvious. “And,” I tell her “I will make them beautiful.” In her most official of voices she tells me that she thinks that they’re already beautiful.

I wholeheartedly agree with her insider observation but, “I will then make them memorable” I declare with great confidence.

She starts telling me about privacy issues, “and if the Board of Directors should find pictures on the internet, the consequences will be severe.” I cast her a ‘come and git it’ smile…

“Besides,” she adds, “they’re here for the peace and quiet”.

Patiently I explain, “We come here for the peace and quiet. They’re here because they’re dead!”

Stunned quiet ensues…..

I continue, “If it’s the peace & quite of obscurity they seek, why then the stones? It’s more than just family they call out for. Don’t you think?”

“Here, let me explain.”

So then I go on to recite an epitaph from my first book, the then future Final Thoughts: Eternal Beauty in Stone…..

“Scatter me not too restless winds,

Nor toss my ashes to the sea,

Remember now those times gone by,

When loving gifts I gave to thee,

Remember now those happy times,

And the family ties we share,

Don’t leave my resting place unmarked as though you never cared,

Deny me not, one final gift,

For all to come and see,

A single, lasting proof that says,

I loved … And you loved me.” D.H. Cramer

With a respectful sidelong glance - complete with smile - and nod of the head, I depart.

(I returned the following week, this time without the tripod.)

 

Of all the epitaphs that I’ve come across in my travels, this is one of the few that captures the true essence of what we call ‘life’, at least for me it does. It is that ‘fact of life’ detailed here that holds my thoughts and emotions in tow. The living experience depicted in the most profound of human virtues, “I loved … and you loved me.” But this epitaph is not only asking to “remember our love,” but “remember me.”

There are Final Thoughts for every occasion, every emotion, and every belief or faith. The following are just examples of a few.

Final Surrender –

“T’was hard to give thee up.”

Or

“Time how short, eternity how long.”

Faith & Afterlife –

“We morn our loss, but ‘tis her gain,

She’s free from sorrow, sin, and pain,

Celestial angels haste her flight,

To regions of eternal light.”

Utopian Hope –

“We saw not the Angels who met him there,

the gates of the city we could not see.

Over the river, over the river,

My Darling stands waiting to welcome me.”

Simple Remembrance –

“To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.”

Or

“And when my life on Earth is done, it will be my final plea:

Let someone think or say, “You made a memory.”

A Personal Opinion –

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breaths away.”

Or

“What is it like when you’re dead?

Just like it was before you were born, and for just as long…”

All the above span many years, and come from many hearts. Death is difficult for all. Its permanence cannot be denied. We just simply do not know what that point when time stands still holds for us. From our place we can only surmise.

Benjamin Franklin once wrote, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."  Ahhhh, but there is one more certainty Mr. Franklin, and that is life. It must have an equal, if not greater, significance. It is that part of who we are that our descendants will remember. It is that part that can positively change the world for all. This final epitaph from circa 1831 pretty much says it all for me.

“Verses on gravestones is time but vainly spent,

a mans best deeds is his best monument.”

Live life people. Live it right, live it good, and be remembered.

John Thomas Grant’s first book - “Final Thoughts: Eternal Beauty in Stone” - featuring his cemetery photography, is now available online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. It will be in bookstores in November. Publisher – Schiffer Publishing.

John’s work can be viewed at www.johnthomasgrant.com. John is partner with historical reenactor/lecturer, Lisa Griffiths-Lewis, at The Passion Projects, LLC. His email address is – jtgrant19@gmail.com.